I could learn from him

Every single day I realize how I have truly been blessed with an amazing little boy.  For the months that I spent pregnant, I prayed that my little bean sprout would have a temperament similar to our dogs.  They like to play, but for the most part they are very mild mannered.  I would joke at work that my baby would not know how to cry and that he'd sleep through the night and that he'd laugh a lot.  Even though they all told me babies like that don't exist, I got a baby pretty close to what I prayed for.  GV loves to sleep and has been really good at it, he loves to smile, and he's already making some little giggling noises that we hear often.

I'm beyond lucky, but I'm still having some trouble with typical new mom things.  But I'm the one causing them--ME, not my new baby!

I'm having a issue that I shouldn't be, yet I can't seem to stop it from happening either.  GV goes to bed around 10ish, 10:30 most of the time, and is out until 8:30 in the morning.  Ideally I would go to bed around 11.  But, no, I don't make it to bed till closer to 1:30 to 2.  I sadly cannot say that I'm up doing laundry or washing the dishes or anything really.  All the house stuff is done in the day, during nap time if possible, since I get pretty tired early in the evening.  I am either watching tv, which I don't do much of during the day, or tanning my face with my laptop screen.  Every time I try to go to bed earlier, the clock seems to speed up and it ends up much later than I had wanted.  When I do get to bed, I have a hard time staying asleep.  I wake up feeling like I haven't eaten in weeks or like I need to make a grocery list RIGHT then.  I eventually make it back to sleep, but 8:00 feels too early to get up and about after all that.

I realized my other issue just yesterday.  I made it a point to get out of the house and do some shopping with GV yesterday.  I have been out of the house with him on several occassions without Dave, but always going to a relative's house.  I told myself that I needed to get more comfortable with this scenario and GV is always great going out, so I should feel much better than I do about leaving the house with him.  We ventured out early during the day and GV was asleep as soon as we were in the car.  I found myself hoping that he'd stay that way for the entire duration of our trip.  At our first stop I pulled his carseat out and hooked it to the stroller, no problem.  Except that it was really windy and my bangs kept flying into my eyes.  This made me want to get back in the car and go home.  Crazy, I know.  Then there already a person with a baby stroller, looking at the baby sale stuff.  I immediately gave up on trying to look too.  We headed to the mall next, GV still sleeping, but soon after our arrival he woke up.  This made me nervous.  I just knew that he was bound to start crying.  And if he did, we would have to go home.  I have some illogical fear of baby cries in public places.  GV must know that I have this silly problem, because he sat there like a quiet little mouse taking in his surroundings with his big eyes.  The whole time.  But I was still nervous the whole time, ready to leave at the slightest noise.

Ugh!  I know that I'm blessed with an amazing little baby.  I even see that he seems to enjoy getting out of the house.  But I continue to act scared to go anywhere by ourselves.  I am hoping that I'll get over all this real soon, REAL soon.

Sidenote:  I would love to be able to do all of our grocery shopping before Dave gets home, like a nice stay at home mom.  However I have a handicap.  Our carseat carrier doesn't have that little notch that allows it to slide down onto a buggy/cart.  Our seat still sits on the cart, but a little higher than normal.  My handicap:  I can't see over the carseat cart combination.  I need to start wearing him instead, but I still have my phobias of carts and crowed isles too.

Thankfully GV is CRAZY over his crazy mom.