I hope that you get as much enjoyment from reading this post as I did writing it. Over the last few months I have been browsing through tons and tons of baby gear, necessary and not so necessary. I knew that there was a whole world of things out there that I didn’t know existed, but I didn’t realize how outrageous some of these things were. The other day I was talking to my best friend, Liz, about some of the things that I have found online, and got the idea to share a few of them with the rest of you. My hope is not to offend anyone with my personal opinions on these things, so please take what I say with a grain of salt.
Peter Potty Toddler Urinal
I do wish that I had room in my bathroom for this. I actually wish I had room for four or five of these, so my little boy could feel the real experience of going to the mens’ room. I would assume that this would be a nice conversation starter too. Now, one con I see here is when your little boy goes over to his friends’ houses and he doesn't know where to pee since there’s no Peter Potty Toddler Urinal.
Safety 1st Jack Potty
This is one that I wish they had in an adult version. If gambling were legal here, I would be awful tempted to get one. I mean, who doesn’t wish that their toilet looked like a slot machine? “Flashing lights and spinning shapes” would make pottying much more exciting. Too bad you can't insert quarters anywhere.
These are fun; they are stickers that you apply to your toilet to "empower your child to explore the toilet independently. Sounds intriguing. They also claim to " HELP REDUCE THE FEAR AND ANXIETY CHILDREN EXPERIENCE DURING THE TOILET TRAINING PROCESS." Personally I think I might be afraid of going anywhere near the toilet if it looked like an animal. Although the 12 sets that they offer are all named. So now if you're not sure what you want your little one to refer to the bathroom or bathroom acts as, your solution is here! Instead of Little Johnny saying, "Mommy, I need to go poop," he could say "Mommy, I need to go see Poo-Poo Panda (or Doo-Doo Duck)." Now that sounds much more appropriate. You can also choose from Gatago Giraffe, P.P. Pig, Leaky Frog, or Can Go Roo. If you're worried about the animal staring at your little Johnny while he's doing his business, there's no need to fear. Every animal comes with an additional eyes closed face that goes inside of the lid, how thoughtful. The first thing that came to my mind was amusement park photo-op spots. I can hear it now, "Look Mommy, there's Poo P. Bunny. Time to potty." Then you're running after little Johnny as he's pulling his pants down in public and he's scarred for life. Maybe these aren't so thoughtful.
One of the most traumatizing things I remember as a child was getting a loose tooth. The loose tooth wasn't scary, but what normally came next was. I remember looping a piece of floss around my tooth and the other end to a door knob, then praying to God that my Dad would be right and "I wouldn't feel a thing." No one ever offered to do all this for me and I remember always feeling like I needed to get the loose tooth out so it wouldn't come out on its own and choke me in the middle of the night. If only my family would have had a Gator Gripper, then I wouldn't be nearly as disturbed as I am today. The claims to make tooth removal pain free and FUN sound awful promising.
Zaky Infant Pillow
I enjoy looking at this one. The point is to have your child feel like you're still holding him after you have laid him down to sleep. On their website they say to bring it to the hospital when your child is born and ask the nurse to put these around your child in his bassinet while he's in the nursery. I would expect to be laughed at. And if I ever went looking at babies in a nursery and saw one with these fake puppet hands around him, I would laugh really really hard.
Nosefrida, the snotsucker
I plan on having a nasal aspirator and I see the benefits of having one. However, I do not see the benefit of sucking my babies snot myself when there are little devices that we've been using for many many years successfully. There are many gross things that I realize that I'll be doing for my child, but I don't think he will feel like I love him any less if it's not me that sucking his snot out of his little nose. Eww.
I am going to let their website explain what this is for, they do it much better than I can do. Although I want to say first that I thought this was used when you couldn't find a bathroom while traveling, then I found out that I was wrong.
“Stand the child on or in front of the toilet seat with your assistance. Be sure to hold the child securely at all times to prevent him from slipping and falling. Unzip or pull down the boys pants. Remove both caps from the Tinkle Tube. Place the Tinkle Tube over the boys little soldier. Now hold and aim the tube towards the toilet. Shake the tube out, rinse and replace the caps. Store the Tinkle Tube in your bag for the next use.” I feel so bad for the child whose parents felt that this was a necessary potty training item.
One of my worries about my baby arriving into the world is not the possibility of him being bald. But if it were, there's a solution for that! I do hope that once I go into mommy-mode I have lots of brilliant ideas, like the baby toupee. Maybe I could get a few of these so the baby and the dogs could go as the same thing for halloween next year. Oh...the possibilities....
Just the other day I was sitting around wondering how I could teach my baby work ethic as soon as possible. And maybe when I could start expecting him to do his chores. Just a second ago I found the Baby Mop. I tell you....there's a solution for EVERYTHING on the internet.
Since Bean Sprout isn't here to help me out yet, I must do my chores alone. Hope you enjoyed this, there should be more on the way.