Going on a Church Hunt

Since graduating from high school I really haven't been involved in a church. There are several reasons for my absence, but really no excuses for the amount of time that I did without. When I was younger I was quite involved in my church, I'd be there Sunday morning and night, Wednesday night, and then for anything else that was going on. I must say that I believe church really helped guide me through adolescence. I wasn't a kid that dreaded going to church; although I remember dreading some of the clothes that my mom wanted me to wear on Sunday mornings. Close to graduating my conviction to my church began to drift, and then after graduation I let go of it completely. For me, going to that church didn't move me like it once would. It really felt stagnant and I kept asking myself, "What's the point?" There were several other things that morphed my view of this church too, but overall it didn't feel like "my home" anymore.

I moved out of my parents' house directly after graduating high school, which gave me complete control of my time and actions. I also took a Religions of the East class my first or second semester of college. My first couple of years in college ended up being a time of questioning for me. I wanted to connect dots and draw my own lines to my own conclusions and make things make sense in my head. The more I attempted to answer my own questions, the further I was separating myself from the God that I grew up with. And pretty soon after that I was comfortable with the separation.

Fast forward to a few years later. My once happy-go-lucky soul was broken. My pretty much smooth sailing life hit a rough patch that turned almost everything upside down. My parents told me that they were getting a divorce. To be honest I knew it was probably best, but the surprise and shock of it affected me more than I wish it would have. For the period of time after the news I experience emotions and questions that I hadn't ever had the displeasure of experiencing. I felt lonely, afraid, depressed, broken….I could go on, but to sum up my emotions, I felt empty. Looking back, I am so thankful that Dave was already in my life. At the time we were actually planning our wedding (what a coincidence, huh?). Dave gave me a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, but I was too embarrassed to turn to him as much as I needed to. I had never been an emotional basket case before and I didn't know the first thing about dealing with this on my own. The divorce added so many questions and doubts to my already questioning soul.

That hasn't been that long ago, although I feel like I have grown so much since then. I was 21 at the time of the news, but I was still a kid on the inside. I know that I didn't handle the situation the best way possible, and I would go about it differently if I could. Although through all this, a lot of my questions were answered. Maybe because I had no answers and was afraid to turn to anyone else to try to find them. I let everything bottle up inside me, the good and the bad. Once I got over being sad constantly I realized that there was a conviction in my heart. I realized that my soul was still broken, even though smiling wasn't as tough anymore. I knew what I needed to do; now I just needed to get myself to do it. I told myself that I needed to find a church. What I didn't realize was how difficult getting up and going somewhere on Sunday morning was going to be. There were so many obstacles in the way. Like sleeping in, or going to brunch, or the awesome Sunday morning cooking shows on PBS. The news of the baby made my conviction even stronger. 6 months passed and then one Saturday night I told Dave that I was going to church in the morning and that we needed to decide on one to go to. A few weeks prior to this I had made a post on facebook about finding a church, so I had several recommended options. There was one that I was thinking about going to, but when I looked up info for them it said they weren't having a regular service instead a "getting to know you" luncheon. This wasn't appealing so I immediately thought of Embrace Church, which is a place that I had been meaning to visit for…oh, too long. I found their info online and told Dave that he had to wake me up and help me out with actually going through with this.

We went and we both really enjoyed the service. Not just the service, but the music and the style of preaching and the couches and the breakfast. Both of us had grown up in your more traditional style churches and we had reservations about casual church. After church when we were in the car, we both agreed that the casualness didn't seem like any big deal, and it actually complimented the comfortable atmosphere that the whole place gave off. Everything is kept real simple, which I enjoy. You are encouraged to worship in your own way and nothing at all is forced. So far we have continued to visit for a couple of weeks. It is starting to look like a trend. Next weekend we'll be out of town and the church service is being held in the evening, and I really would like to get back in town so I don't miss it. Now that's a feeling that I haven't felt in a while.

Crooked House Update

The Crooked House was completed this past weekend and moved to its home in my in-law's back yard. This weekend was also my niece, Kate's second birthday. The house was revealed and, of coarse, it was a huge hit. Future plans are to build a tree house beside the house. I really wonder how Griffin is ever going to want to come home.

Thanks again, Pops. Your talent continues to amaze us.

28 Weeks Part II

click picture to enlarge

I just got home from the "baby visit," as I just heard Dave describe it. I am a bit on the bummed side right now. I barely failed my glucose screening test. Normally I am not a worrier, but this gets me worried. 140 is the 'passing' number for the test, meaning that you don't have gestational diabetes if you scored that or below; whereas over 200 means that you have it. I scored a 146, a measly 6 points over. What this means is that I fall in the gray area, but on the very low probability end. What this resulted in is the fact that I have to go take a three hour fasting glucose test. I'm not too excited about this. My five second answer of 'yes or no' turned into an entire morning at the hospital. Oh boy, I can't wait!

Oh the bright side, Griffin is getting cuter and cuter. Today's ultrasound was longer than yesterday's, so we were able to see more. Like I mentioned in the previous post, Griffin is looking like a little baby. He has little cheeks….if he's anything like me that's all you'll see on him when he gets here. We didn't get a picture of it, but for a second or two is face was so in focus that I swear I could make out what his little face looks like. I saw both eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his little lips, and chin. Dr. Brody said that Griffin should be around 2.5 pounds now, and he's still all normal. I asked him if he could predict how big Griffin would end up being; I like being prepared if I can be. He said that women my size tend to have smaller babies, and he would guess he'd end up being around seven pounds. I'm shooting for around six pounds so seven isn't too bad. Although I hear that I get no say in this matter.

28 Weeks

28 weeks 1 day

This week I felt a bit of refreshment in the midst of the belly aches and near fainting spells. This week marks the third and final trimester of Griffin's time in my tummy. Only a mere 12 weeks until we get to meet our little Bean Sprout-ONLY TWELVE WEEKS!!! We have already made it through 28 weeks, so hopefully the last 12 will be a breeze. At this point, I have enjoyed the summer and wrapped my head around transforming into a Mom, and I am more than ready for the transformation to happen. I have never ever, ever been so anxious to meet anyone in my life. On top of me meeting our little guy, I can't wait to watch Dave meet him and I can't wait to watch Dave turn into a Daddy. Hopefully I will be coherent enough during the big day to absorb all the changes as fast as I realize that they'll be happening.

I had previously mentioned that I felt like my growing belly was a bit intimidating. Well…It still is, but I have realized that it does come in handy. First I'll explain how it's on the intimidating side. I sometimes forget that it has grown several inches over night, resulting in me unknowingly bumping into everything. Also its growing size has become a hindrance for the largest joint in the body to properly work, the waist joint. At least I now have a growing appreciation for the normal human body. But there was something that I am able to do now that I could not do while not pregnant, and it's something that excites me. For years I have been envious of people that could read books while taking a bath. I remember exactly when this jealousy started; it was while living with my first roommate, Heather. I remember her going to take baths with a book and a glass of red wine after work. I also remember myself trying to take books or magazines into the bath with me and inevitably ruining said reading material. I tried for years, and just couldn't get it right. The other night a friend loaned me a new book to start, and I felt like taking a bath. Yet again I was going to attempt this daunting task. Well guess what this belly did? It worked like a dream to keep the book away from the water and I managed to actually get some of it read, FINALLY I found a solution! So I'd like to now thank my friend Heather for planting this seed in my head several years ago. Granted I have to sacrifice the glass of wine, but that's fine because the amount of relaxation that my new talent yields is quite enough.

Today I am going to the doctor for my gestational diabetes test and to see my Griffin. I actually got to see him yesterday too. I had to leave work because I felt, once again, like I was about to pass out. I went into the doctor and he confirmed what I already that thought was the cause, which is low blood sugar. I have dealt with low blood sugar for several years, so I am quite accustom to it; yet I didn't realize that my metabolism which has been sped up from the pregnancy would make it much more intense than normal. Dr. Brody also reassured me that these spells do not harm the baby or even me, besides making me feel terrible. In the ultrasound yesterday we finally saw what appeared more like a baby face rather than just seeing his skull, which is more scary than it is cute. We saw him moving his little mouth almost like he was trying to tell us something. We'll get more pictures of him today, so I should post them soon.

Morning sickness, is that you again?

I was pretty sure that I had paid my dues with the amount of morning sickness that I experienced during my first trimester. Although now I think I may have had the wrong idea. I was warned that morning sickness could rear its head again in the third trimester, but I remained optimistic and thought, "Not with me, it won't." If there is one thing that I have learned with pregnancy, it's that NOTHING is predictable.

In the last couple of weeks I have experienced a few times where I felt close to fainting. I feel really week, my entire body heats up and, my vision is skewed. I (err, I mean Dave) remedy this by lying down, drinking lots of cold water, and eating peanut butter; this seems to do the trick. This can happen even if I have eaten soon before. On top of this happening, every night this week I have been feeling nauseas before I go to bed. I have even jumped up from my sleep feeling like I am getting sick. Thankfully I am fine in the mornings, but it's getting worse as the week continues. I don't like to eat much before I go to bed, so I am running out of ideas to try to "fix" myself. I want to know if this is this a preview for the next 12 weeks. I know I am going through all this for Bean Sprout; and I am willing to go through hell and back if that's what he needs. But at this rate, little Griffin isn't ever going to have the option of having any siblings that aren't dogs.

Is that House Crooked?

Recently, my extremely talented Father-in-law began working on a little crooked house. I didn't even realize that he was planning on making one; just one day we stopped by their house and there's a little house in the drive way. Now it's just about complete. I believe that it is the cutest little house ever. After Adrian and Griffin are born in November there will be four grandchildren on Dave's side. I just can't wait to see them all playing in the little house.

Thanks Pops!

Week 27

So it took a little while for Bean Sprout to show his bump, but now there's no stopping him. My belly is growing in epic proportions, and its size is beginning to be a little intimidating.

This is the last week of my second trimester. Where has the last 7 months gone? In no time, Griffin will be on the other side of my belly, and Dave and I couldn't be more excited. The second trimester was indeed much friendlier than the first. I had a decent amount of energy, even though I tire quickly. My appetite hasn't been that of a trucker (I don't really understand this analogy) YET….It's definitely getting there. I haven't been too nauseas, which was a nice change from the first trimester where I was constantly nauseas. I haven't been an emotional wreck. I had heard stories of women's emotions going through a whirlwind in their second trimester; but thankfully, I have remained emotionally myself. I have had time to appreciate the miracle that's taking place inside me without being overcome with pain and tiredness. I needed this time.

Next week I go back to the doctor for my gestational diabetes test, and I do hope that there are no signs of this. If there is anything I learned in all my physiology classes, it is that I do NOT want diabetes of any kind. I am not much of a sweet eater, but I do have low blood sugar and I know that that can have an effect on a person as far as the diabetes stuff goes. Keep your fingers crossed.

I had mentioned that we found the crib that I was wanting on Craig's List back when we first found out that we were expecting. It needed to be cleaned and touched up with a little paint, and now it looks brand new. That's another thing to check off the to-do list. The room is taking shape and I can't wait for it all to come together.

Goodbye, My Love

Part of me is one big geek. Always have been and I would assume, always will. You'll see how big of a geek in a minute.

I am going to describe yesterday as bittersweet. Bitter because I put a friend to rest, yet sweet for the start of a new one. Yesterday I retired my pretty, shiny, mostly loyal and obedient friend. We had had a strong almost 5 year relationship, and I loved nearly every minute of our time together. It had just come time for our relationship to come to an end. "Why was this?", you ask. Sadly, he just wasn't as shiny as he used to be and he wasn't able to be there for me like he once was. Right now he sits beside me, but I have no use for him anymore. Instead I'll just cherish the good times and the bad times that we experienced together. Especially the long sleepless nights that he kept me company when no one else would. Or how he would help me with my spelling, without making me feel like an idiot. Or how he was only able to tell the beginning of knock-knock jokes. The memories are countless. Maybe you have seen me with my friend. He was silver and had a little white apple on his back and a mouth shaped like a CD drive.

Have you guessed that he was my computer? Well, I am indeed referring to my computer. Like most computers, he aged and became more of a burden than a luxury. In the recent months he was becoming increasingly uncooperative, not allowing me to do my favorite things in which he was involved. It was obvious that he needed to be replaced. For a while Dave figured that we would just do some much needed updates and make him like new. Although the longer that we waited, the more costly the updating was going to be. It turned from needing software updates to needing updated hardware, i.e. a whole new computer.

The cost of a new Apple computer was a bit gut wrenching to get the equivalent of what I currently have. For Dave it was always out of the question to replace him which a new Apple, and I eventually came to terms with this fact. After some looking we found a very nice PC for an equally nice price tag. It had everything that I wanted, plus a few nice extras. Dave went and got it yesterday (this was the sweet part). I have been trying to bond with it today; and so far I don’t hate it. But it is keeping me on my toes. Like just a second ago, I thought I was just typing regularly, but all of a sudden I am typing in an italic subscript font without even knowing that I asked it to do so. We are slowly getting used to each other; and my mind and heart are open to forming a satisfying bond between us. I do appreciate that this one doesn’t feel like it’s causing 2nd degree burn on my legs when using it for more than 5 minutes, and it’s nice to finally use flash based stuff again. It's also nice to finally have a delete and backspace button, instead of just a backspace button. Oh…a biggie that I am excited about—I can finally edit my own pictures without needing Dave’s computer. This will make sharing baby pictures more fun and convienent for me, and in turn make blogging all the more fun.

This may have been a waste of your time to read, but I felt like my faithful friend deserved a proper goodbye. Back to baby soon…very soon.

It's a little too hot to think of something clever....

Happy August. It's not my favorite month or anything, so on with it. I knew that I would dread the heat that August had in store...I was right. It has been HOT, and we're just 4 days in. I am not sure if maybe it has seemed so hot since July was somewhat pleasant, or if it's just plain hot no matter what last month was. I have always looked at August as a gateway to September, one of my favorite months. This is possibly because my birthday is in September, or because chilly fall nights make me feel warm inside. Just like every year in the past, I do look forward to this fall, although this one more so than ever before.

I had to practice a bit (or a whole heck of a lot) of self-control today. I stopped by Target today and (obviously) glanced at the baby stuff. It appeared as though they are getting their fall stuff in and boy, was it calling my name! I have already mentioned that I am doing a woodland themed nursery with owls, squirrels, and hedgehogs. Mainly I wanted to do this kind of nursery because it was stuff that I liked. Pre-pregnancy I was drawn to this same sort of stuff and also I have wanted a pet hedgehog for years now. I can’t really tell you why I am obsessed with them, besides that I think that they’re incredibly adorable. Well to my delight, and my detriment, Target’s Dwell Studio brand has an entire collection of hedgehog baby attire. I stood there with my mouth hanging open just wanting to buy it all up. My intention to calm my baby clothes craving was to rush home to write about it. I was hoping to find the stuff on Target’s website, but sadly it’s not there. I did happen to snap a picture of the blanket in the collection, so I’ll share it. Enough about that, the writing didn’t calm my craving any.

When I asked my doctor when I would start showing, he told me that Dave could see the bump around 20 weeks and then the world would see at 26 weeks. I thought he was crazy...26 weeks is six and a half months! Well turns out, he was basically right. Last week I think some clothes didn’t quite accentuate the bump, but this week nothing is hiding it. It’s beginning to look like there is sporting equipment being stored in my belly, and it’s kind of feeling like it too. Before now it seemed like I could tell a difference in my size week to week, but now it seems like there are noticeable little changes day to day. And to think, we’re not even to the third trimester.

26 weeks 2 days

Chiropractor update: I went and I didn’t really like the guy. That, and I am not sure if it’s really worth the cost and the hassle. I am a little bitter over my short experience with him, so I think I have officially quit going. Instead I plan on getting a soothing pregnancy massage from Natural Body. I hear they’re to die for.

25 Weeks

25 weeks 1 day

Another week down, 15 more on the way. As always, I get more anxious every single day to meet him. Based on his movements I think he's getting ready to come out and meet me too. Everyday I am able to feel more and more. I think I may have felt an elbow or knee pressing against my insides. Dave thought it was his cone head poking around, and I assured him that hopefully he wouldn't have a cone head until he made his way out.

I am making a trip to the chiropractor this Thursday. Hopefully (I have my fingers and toes crossed) this will lessen the pain that has been living in my back. I have come to the conclusion that my 5'1" frame is not ideal for baby bearing. When sitting, my feet never touch the floor and usually I sit toward the front of chairs so my back isn't up against anything. So when I sit for more than 3o seconds I can feel the ache coming on. Boo! I really didn't intend on this being an outlet for my whining....so hopefully after Thursday I'll feel like I am floating on clouds. (Am I a little too optimistic?)

This week I am watching my niece, Lain. She has been at house for almost an hour and a half, and I already realize that I need to find a new source of energy. My kid-like energy lasts only 5 minutes at a time, and then I am in need a break to recharge. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love having her here. It's nice to have conversations with a human, instead of just my one-sided convos with the dogs. A minute ago I asked her why I was so tired, and she responded with, "because the baby is sleepy." The dogs never would have said anything that cute.